Navratri
in Love - Oct 23, 2015
October 11th, 2013 - I had just wrapped
up weeks of intensive physiotherapy at Apollo Hospital in Bhubaneshwar. I
would travel 40 minutes each way for an hour and a half of healing. I was
grateful for feeling better, but still felt the discomfort of back pain from
being hunched over at a desk for 20 years in school & work.
The day had arrived. I was so
happy to be heading to see my beloved master & guru, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar,
lovingly called Gurudev. I quickly called up for a rickshaw, threw my
backpack in & headed to the airport. When I got to the airport, I
realized I did not have a gift for my beloved. I love to take something
for him & decided to buy him the highest quality dark chocolate I could
find. After an uneventful flight, I arrived at the Bangalore ashram later
that Sunday night after the earlier Satsang. I checked into a triple non-A/C
sharing room in New Vasuki, a very nice dormitory / residence at the ashram.
The next day, we started with yoga &
a wonderful long Sudarshan Kriya. I was elated at being able to eat in
our dining hall...I love the sattvic food at the ashram. My body feels so
much happier & healthier with the sattvic food freshly prepared every day.
That morning, during the first day of
the International 7 day silence course, also called the Advanced Meditation
Program (AMP), I saw my beloved. I felt immediately elated and so happy
just to see him & be in the same space as him. We had a wonderful day
of spiritual ceremonies, meditation, singing, & knowledge. I slept
like a baby that night.
The next day, we all went into silence.
I was so happy that we would be spending all 7 days in the Vishalakshi
Mantap (VM) building. This is the largest mantap in Asia and by far the
most beautiful building on campus. I love the space & energy in the
beautiful meditation hall.
I was also so happy to see Swamiji
Brahmatej & Dinesh Goudke in our silence course. They are some of my
favorites. They exude happiness, peace, love, & joy. We had a new
silence course teacher from Gujarat who was a complete joy...her laugh & smile
were so beautiful.
From the first day, I decided not to use
a blackjack / any back support. I felt like I was still able to go deep
in meditation. This is my 21st silence course, so I feel like I am about
half way to my goal of silence courses equal to my age - a recommendation by
Dinesh Ji.
The silence course flew by & I
realised I really needed a 10 day silence course and asked if we could offer a
15 / 20 day silence course in the future...I wrote this down in my feedback
form after the course ended. After the course ended, Gurudev offered to
meet all of the internationals & I was happy at the chance to potentially
give Gurudev his Lindtt dark chocolate. Towards the end of the session,
he was getting up & I ran to the front of the stage and stuck out my hand
with my gift bag of chocolate and he looked at me lovingly in the eyes &
grabbed the chocolate...I let out a sound of joy & we just smiled at each
other as I imagine Krishna smiled at his Gopis.
As I am about to finish my Masters of
Arts degree in Naturopathic Medicine & Yogic Sciences in five months, I was
finding myself oscillating from the past & future, mainly planning for the
future...I had lost the present moment many times. Luckily, the
meditations were deep and I was able to let go of my wandering mind.
After the course had ended, I had a chance to catch up with a dear friend
of mine from Texas. He's 70 years old and has been with TM & Gurudev
for over 40 years. He had some amazing insight to share with me. I
had asked him if he found himself planning a lot & he said, not
anymore...he didn't even have the next flight booked. He said that at 70,
he just relaxes in the present moment with a sense of contentment. He's
no longer chasing after desires / concerned with aversions...he's simply
feeling & observing each moment as it happens. He reminded me of what
Gurudev says about the present moment being so vast & infinite. If we
are present to this moment, we can observe so much happening right now in this
joyous and happy moment vs. dwelling / glorifying the past / worrying about the
future. I also asked him about desire and he mentioned that he also
enjoys looking at an attractive woman, but at 70, he simply enjoys the beauty
without any feverishness. I find that with my daily sadhana including two
Homas / day in Sandhyavandana, I also experience a simple feeling of
"witnessing" beauty without getting caught up in desire for an
attractive woman. I am grateful & humbled by the lack of sexual
testosterone driven desire that I struggled with in my twenties & thirties.
I am so grateful for this yogic way of living.
Almost twice a day, I was able to see
Gurudev. I love Navratri because I get to spend so much time in my
master's presence. The only problem I had is that my back was severely
aching as I chose to have no back support all day...my back was creating quite
a bit of misery in my mind and I was surprised at how many negative thoughts
& emotions started coming up in the small mind. I was surprised as
intellectually I knew & thought that I could disassociate my mind from the
body, but my mind was in tamas (tamsic) from all the body pain...I was in so
much pain that I could not meditate during the amazing & beautiful Poojas
& Homas. Luckily, I felt so much love from my Master during this
time, that I was ok with not feeling the deep meditations during the Poojas
& Homas that I had experienced in previous years. I was still happy
simply feeling his love. I recently read a knowledge sheet in which
Gurudev spoke about not surrendering...he said, instead, just feel the
connection with the divine / the master, relax, & let go. I was
surprised at how useful keeping this in mind is.
I can still remember so many sweet
divine tears of gratitude & love. I love this time when I can simply
feel so much love...I believe these sweet tears of gratitude & love are
blessings from the divine. One evening, our silence course teacher shared
that the divine longs for these sweet tears.
So I am now 30k feet in the air heading
back to Sri Sri University in Cuttack, Odisha. I am happy that I had the
chance to spend this time with my master & am excited about healing my back
& getting past this pain. I look forward to going deeper in my
studies, sadhana, seva, & satsang...
With love & gratitude...
Jai Guru Dev,
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