I just spent the better part of 9 days fasting on liquids. I would drink a Venti Starbucks Chai Latte / Decaf Almond Milk Mocha / maybe a chocolate milk shake from McDonalds. I was unable to pass a bowel movement since I left Charlotte for some reason unknown to me. I write this and realize my selfishness in referring to the experience of I, me, and my; but this experience left a very lasting impression. I no longer desire to be free of eating / food. I realize the joy of eating and the energy that food provides. I don’t fully understand how we end up disrespecting others, but I do realize that we do at times make mistakes that may even be repeated due to ignorance / lack of control of mind / thoughts. I find myself disrespecting people unknowingly, but I surrender the thought to God &/ Guru. I simply chant Om Nama Shivaya and surrender the ignorance.
The experience of this low energy state coupled with a very upset stomach made me realize the power of the stomach to transform emotions. An upset stomach can lead to negativity and tamsic inertia. The opposite I believe also holds true. The power of fresh fruits and vegetables, freshly prepared lentils and rice, can uplift the spirit and help us maintain a state of sattva. I have a newfound respect for Ayurvedic cooking. I realize the benefit of providing the body with nutritious well-balanced food in the right quantity at the right time. Ayurvedic food can potentially uplift our spirits and give us a tremendous reservoir of energy.
One thought that lingers from this experience of not eating for 9 days is how does the mind and Atma deal with leaving the body at the time of death. Does the mind still crave for food when the body is dropped? Does this craving for tasty foods become bondage for taking another body?
The craving for sex, I believe, begins to diminish as we age. I feel as though the craving for sweets has diminished significantly as I have aged. I no longer crave spicy and overly sugary foods. I can only guess that the craving for sex and food will diminish as I age, but I wonder.
Imagine the mind and atma free from the body. At the time of death, as the body is dropped, does the mind also drop certain cravings? I believe the Upanishads and Gitas are teaching us to drop these cravings as we get older. Maybe this is why some elderly eat very lightly. Their capacity to eat larger meals goes down as we get older. I have experienced only eating one to two meals a day as I approach age 50. I now take triphala to ensure healthy digestion and take vitamins to prevent sickness.
Even though the body may be able to get by with just water / maybe even be free from high quantities of water, I believe we need healthy food and water / hydration to balance our emotions and state of sattva.
Can we get by on less? Yes, absolutely. As Sivananda once wrote, a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
The Buddha once meditated for several days and upon near collapse, reached for some rice pudding / kheer and realized that the body needs some food for energy. The Buddha also likely realized that he needed some water too.
Swami Rama had once meditated on the banks of the Ganges for 13 days, and after some days, all he could think about was food. Imagine the discipline of sadhus in India / the homeless in the US. They are likely food conscious so often. We have so much to be grateful for.
In terms of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the base layer is food, safety, and shelter.
Another aspect of being sick with digestive issues for 9 days, is the concept of surrendering everything. In this surrender, in the present moment, as this sickness occurred, I had no choice but to move forward. How can we adapt to adversity and maintain equanimity? I had felt upset at times, but had no choice but to move forward. In the face of discontent, I realized my selfishness. I still feel selfish as I had spent time dwelling on my own needs and wants.
How do we truly become selfless? How do we surrender our own needs? How do we achieve silence? I believe all of our struggles are but to reach this silence in surrender. How can we find equanimity and silence even when faced with great difficulty and adversity.
How can we learn self defense in a world filled with so much violence? How can we protect others? How do we make our children strong? Not only physically strong, but mentally strong? When a child is bullied, how do we make them strong enough to combat the verbal abuse? How do we teach children to protect not only themselves, but others around them?
I don’t know the answer to many of these questions, but I assume that the answer so often depends on the situation. I struggle with the concept that we have world hunger and human violence and starvation and severe human abuse, but we have individuals striving to put man in space as leisure travel. I don’t get it. Is this the irony of human nature or rather the complexity of human existence. The world is so complex.
I’m left wondering how we can be simply be free. Be grateful for rest, energy, food, meditation, family and friends. Be grateful to serve others. Ultimately, be grateful to do his work. I feel as though I’m rambling now, but more than ever, you take away someone’s ability to eat for some days, and he / she will realize the value of our most basic needs. Food, shelter, water...imagine what people must go through in a hospital room attached to a feeding tube / respirator. They have effectively dropped eating and drinking.
Imagine the human condition...everyday, every moment.
Ever grateful for the opportunity for depth.
Love & Jai Guru Deva,
