Twisted Growth

I saw this tree on my walk a few days ago and thought about our growth as human beings.  The trunk of this tree seemed so twisted over so many years, yet appeared so beautiful in it's vast glory.  As the trunk seemed twisted, I realized the trunk still appeared straight; as though life had over several decades, taken the water out of a towel, or taken the learning out of the learned.  How do we empty our minds?  This trunk seemed to visualize the mind emptying over so many decades.  In the process of emptying, the trunk became hardened and the trunk appeared so strong and firm, able to hold the resulting massive branches and canopy that the tree carried.  This tree, as an adult over time, provided so much shade to the earth around her.

Imagine the years of growth and the shade that this tree provided(s).  The tree had such beautiful branches and leaves, with no sign of discontent.  The massive growth that occured from the trunk and the vast amount of shade that the branches provide is beautiful.  How do we provide shade and comfort to others?  How do we become lighthouses and beacons of hope for others?  How do we become so still, so firmly rooted in ourselves, that we become solid as a rock, even as our growth is twisted and hardened by years of life?

In this picture, we still are unable to truly see the vast and infinite nature of this live oak tree.  Here we can see a view of the whole tree, but do we really see it?

Here's a more comprehensive view of this tree.  You see the tree end-to-end, but do you really see the tree?  No, you only see what your mind perceives.  Your limited, small mind, only sees what is above the earth.  Do you see that this tree nourishes and takes care of so many other trees around it?  Underground?  Do you see the vast network of nodes and life underneath the earth?  Do you see the nurturing and development of other life deep under the surface of the earth?  The beauty and magic of the infinite is unseen, and cannot be fathomed or comprehended by our small minds...I can't even imagine what is really happening in concsiousness, but I imagine that this consciousness is molding life to improve, to serve, to be of selfless service to others.





I leave this space here to represent what's unseen...the truth, I believe, is far beyond comprehension...

In Love and Service,

Jai Guru Deva.

An Aspiring Yogi.

Frustrations on Unsolicited Advice

Why do we get so frustrated with unsolicited advice?  Why is that I get frustrated with my parents and my sister giving advice?  I get tired of listening to people telling me what I should do / need to do.  I feel that I find getting help when I ask for it to be helpful, but receiving unsolicited advice is taxing on the mind for some reason.  I get tired listening to someone telling me what does not necessarily resonate with the mind.  I also get tired from intermittent pain.  I can only imagine / feel compassion for the amount of pain that my father feels.  He's a strong man for perservering.  I hope he is able to better manage his pain over time / overcome it completely. 

I think when we talk about ourselves, we attract unwanted attention within our own thoughts / in the world.  I feel a sense of exhaustion when my parents / others talk to me about me.  Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says that the quickest way to get depressed is to sit and think about ourselves and say, "what about me, what about me, what about me."  He's so right...this is the quickest way to depression!  The quickest way out is sadhana &/ selfless service to others.  These seem to be the best ways...

I wonder if I'm burned out...I know people experience worldly career &/ life burnout.  I wonder if people experience spiritual burnout.  If people simply get burned out on the spiritual path.  I sense that I would like to take a year / two or more to be normal again.  I think I put too much effort and thought into spirituality.  I don't know how to really relax anymore.  I find some peace in nature, but not sure what else to do.

I find abiding in nature seems to be the most healing. 

Lots of love to others,

An Aspiring Yogi.

On Life

I witness daily life and wonder...is this it?  How do we become more selfless and help others and drop this small mind's thoughts of I, me / my.  I see my parents and wonder about how their daily life is filled with repetition.  They seem happy and their main concern is health, but I feel as though there is more.  I have a dear friend around their age, a tad bit younger, and he's thoroughly miserable and alone.  Makes you wonder.  On the one hand there's a sense of daily ritual at some level of contentment and at another level there's this loneliness and isolation in misery.  In either circumstance, one dies alone, relatively speaking.  How do we create a full life of selfless service, harmony, and creating joy for others?  ...but the small mind says, "while maintaing some sense of self."  This small minded ego still yearns for relevance and identity.  How do we surrender this ego and dissolve in absolute nothing...how do five guys / sadhus live at a temple and cease to exist?  This paradox of dissolving seems very difficult, kind of like in that movie Peaceful Warrior, when the main actor, Dan Millman, let's go of himself when he's at the top of some monument.

How do we dissolve?  How do we let go?  How do simply be present? 

In all this world's strife, amidst the world's pandemic / epidemic, people are asked to shelter in place, people are sick and dying, and we still have police brutality and demonstrations, peaceful protests, and then violent riots.  How do we stop?  How do we, as a country, become still.  How do we become human beings.  Being is the most difficult thing.  Life seems easier when doing, but near impossible in being.

Seems like the happiest people, as they age, as seniors, seem to have developed life-long friendships and social circles, seem to live this life with belongingness and connectedness, with a sense of valuing relationships:  friends, life-partner(s), children, colleagues, family, community.  This belongingness seems a little contradictory to Sannyasi...makes you wonder.