A Break from the Sudarshan Kriya

I can't believe it's been well over two months since I've done a Long Kriya.  I'm finally going to Long Kriya this evening after about 10 long weeks.  I took a break from the Art of Living and even my daily short Sudarshan Kriya practice for a solid month.  After I graduated with my Masters degree in Naturopathy and Yoga, I left for the Himalayas and even left that after I had struggled with many negative thoughts and emotions.  After a very deep and profound experience, I decided to return to the US to be close to family and focus on overcoming what's left of my cravings and aversions.  I've noticed that my pranas been very low, I've had too many negative thoughts and emotions, and I've even experienced brief feelings of depression.  I am grateful for keeping up my daily meditations, but have felt that doing the Sudarshan Kriya is truly a gift.  I also miss the Sandhyavandana Pooja and am looking forward to at least doing the morning Sandhya with the agni homa.  The afternoons and evenings are a little more difficult to get in, but why not at least enjoy the morning sadhana, you know?  I feel like I'm getting back to my center and will be more grounded after this evening's Long Kriya here in Dallas, TX.  I'm ready to get back to living a more settled life in the US.  I am excited about exploring Vipassana and will continue to do my Sudarshan Kriya practice during the 10 day Vipassana silent meditation retreat.  More than anything, I yearn for the day when I have truly found silence.  Silence of the mind, thoughts, and emotions.  Silence, the Shoonya, the void, the state of nothingness.  I have experienced glimpses of it, but crave to truly experience this state and just listen...from that space of nothingness.  From that space of no desires...I will leave this blog entry with the thought, how can we move from the space of the monkey mind to the space of nothing, of no  mind, where there is only space and listening.  That silent state of samadhi or Ananda.

Excited about stating the next phase of my journey...

Peace, Love, and Jai Guru Dev,

An Aspiring Yogi

My Last Day of the Art of Living

I realized today that I am done with the Art of Living.  I cancelled my Intensive Art of Silence course and decided to discontinue my sadhana.  I'm going to attend a 10 day Vipassana meditation course in June and concentrate on my career and business.  I'll plan on traveling to Rishikesh in a year or two.  I feel that I have to find another spiritual teacher for some time.  I have had too much trouble in my sadhana and am convinced that the time has come to try something different.  I feel bad, but know that Gurudev, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, will always be in my heart, whether I get to spend the present life with him or meet him after my death.  I am ok with leaving for now and pursuing other paths that may be more conducive to where I am in my spiritual journey.  I believe it's important to find compassion and love, silence and equanimity before going too deep on the path.  I'm not sure where I went wrong, but I do know that I no longer feel free, relaxed, and motivated to pursue my sadhana.  I simply need change.  I'm going to focus on asanas and mind-body meditations.  I'll work with TM and see what I can learn from them and Vipassana.  India was too difficult of a journey.  I'm sorry that I am now having to take my sabbatical.  I wonder when I will return to the Art of Living.  I have a feeling it will be after some years.  Let's see what happens.  I realize that not all of us can be subservient and simply listen to the voice within our minds.  I hope to find harmony, compassion, and love on my new path of love and consciousness.

In love and gratitude,

An Aspiring Yogi