I just finished hanging out with SF. She's every man's dream...attractive Russian blonde with an amazing body. 5'6 and an avid yoga class enthusiast. She's actually my perfect astrological match & I'm a Gemini so there's not many out there. I've casually pursued her for about three years. We dated briefly a few years ago until i found out she was married going through a divorce...I thought it wasn't right. I enjoy being around her, but am not in love with her. I tend to have this exact same reaction with almost all women. I feel like it's a waste of my time. In fact, post-coital, the tejas / simply prana in the system feels very low. As I go deeper and deeper in my spiritual path, I feel that casual romantic encounters get in the way of awareness, consciousness, depth & simple happiness on the path. The low prana felt after and the next day feel like it's not worth the temporary and momentary pleasure of sex. Why does the male human have such a strong sense of lust / desire for sex? I need to let SF know that I can't see her romantically anymore. I am glad to be dear friends with her, but not at a physical level. I believe that sex should be from a space of deep love vs. lust. I read a beautiful quote earlier today: "When we don’t need anything from anyone, we will not have cravings towards anybody. When there is no craving, there will be no aversion.+Sri Sri Ravi Shankar." Such a profound statement. Letting go of lust / sex / desire could be one of the greatest & most liberating acts for a human male. I aspire to reach the point where I feel like a child...a yogi, if you will. I'm falling asleep now...with deep gratitude for this realization...may I grow in maturity to not repeat this again.
Love & Jai Guru Dev,
An Aspiring Yogi
