On Money

I met with one of the founders of Door Dash today.  He sold his company and likely walked away with a multimillion dollar profit.  He has gone on to start a property management company and is doing tremendously well.  He's very successful and is backed by the likes of Vinod Khosla and other major venture capitalists.  We met today and we had an intense discussion and he asked me several times what I wanted. 

Before I get to that, we had some small talk and then he laid into me and I did the same on the way back.  His sales rep was pissed because she realized she wasn't getting the sale.  We went back and forth with an intensity I haven't felt in a while.  The room felt cold and I felt like I was in a bar...somewhere I wasn't supposed to be.  He was really hung over from their 1 year anniversary party  the night before and I actually respected his honesty and success.  He was blunt and disrespectful at times, but really got to the point.  The one thing that remains in my mind is that he felt that his time was worth more than mine.  Anyone who believes that is disillusioned.  My time belongs to those less fortunate. 

My time belongs to those less fortunate.  He asked what I wanted about three times.  I answered, "freedom."  Carly, his sales rep, interjected, what does that mean?  I wasn't able to get many words in, but I did see that more than anything, it's Kaivalya...freedom from the worldly entrapments that bond us.  I felt a longing to hustle and do business, to be a part of his team and make money, but at a superficial level.  Deep down inside, I realized I want freedom, to be a yogi, to walk this Earth with awareness and grace, with honor and respect, with humility and to find my true self.  All of these worldly things mean nothing in the face of truth.

No amount of money can make up for truth.  Ask a sanit or a sadhu if he would trade his freedom for $100M and he would definitively say No. 

I was asked to leave within an hour and I parted ways after telling the founder that his website was shit.  He had many listings / vacancies and I shared that this looked bad vs. his competition.  He asked me to simply leave.  I was humbled at that moment, but feel honored now that I write about it.

In this moment, I realized though, that the intensity of that moment brought about silence in the next.  When I walked out of that room I felt a sense of peace and silence.  That silence is what we're after. 

The beauty is in the silence between words, between thoughts.  I had a professor that once said, I paraphrase, pay attention to the silence between the words.  The silence is what we're after.  I believe freedom is in experiencing bliss and Ananda, while helping those less fortunate. 

Swami Brahmananda Saraswati spent 70 years in silence and isolation in the Himalayas.  During this time, he likely mastered silence and experienced great bliss in samadhi.  Self-realization, samadhi, enlightenment is the goal. 

Why do we suffer so much on the path to awakening, to freedom, to liberation, to moksha?  I have heard that the path is very difficult, but did not realize this truth until recently.  Over the past few years, this path has become very difficult, but I keep running away from 100% devotion to his work.

I am unsure what to do in this life, of what to do in this moment.  What I do know is that I will find a way, in the present moment.

With honor and respect, faith and grace.  I humbly surrender to something greater than this / that. 

In surrender to this great unknown,

An Aspiring Yogi.

On Aparigraha

Aparigraha is one of the five vows that both householders (Śrāvaka) and ascetics must observe. This vow is the principle of limiting one's possessions (parimita-parigraha) and limiting one's desires (iccha-parimana).

Worldly wealth accumulation is considered as a potential source of rising greed, jealousy, selfishness and desires.  Giving up emotional attachments, sensual pleasures and material possession is a means of liberation.  Eating enough to survive is considered more noble than eating for indulgence.  Similarly, all consumption is more appropriate if it is essential to one's survival, and inappropriate if it is a form of hoarding, show off or for ego. Non-possession and non-attachment are a form of virtue, and these are recommended particularly in later stages of one's life.  After ahiṃsā, Aparigraha is the second most important virtue.

Commentary:  Why do we strive to accumulate?  Why do we worry about money?  Why do we feel good when we make money and feel bad when we struggle?  Why do we worry about making others jealous?  Why do we feel jealous?  My meditation teacher once simply said, keep money in your pockets not in your head.  He also said that for a successful career in politics, one has to move away from a personal desire for money and sex.  I believe that Aparigraha can help take us inwards towards pratayahara and higher states of consciousness.  We can effectively shift our attention from the world to the inner-self where there are less distractions and less concerns in worldly life.

An interesting note is that Aparigraha discusses possessions in a sense of not only material possessions, but also in emotional attachment and sensual pleasures.  Can we expand this thought to include the body?  For example, is body-building a form of attachment and accumulation?  Are we accumulating muscles or even ultimate flexibility in asanas for a yogi?  When I think of Jainism / Buddhism / Hinduism, I think of great minds letting go of the form all together.  I think of astral beings and conscious expansion, not the body.  

When I tihnk of great saints like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar / The Dalai Lama / Baba Ram Dev / Amma, I do not look towards their bodies as a sign of enlightenment, rather it's quite the opposite.  I look towards their minds and vibrations, towards their wisdom and knowledge, towards utlimately, their grace.