Time with the Master

May 30th, 2015

I am writing from 30k feet in the air as I have just finished shedding tears of love & gratitude at the thought of leaving my beloved, my master, my guru...my beloved Gurudev.  I had an amazing May.  I arrived on May 5th at the Bangalore Ashram & departed this morning.  I only left the ashram once to have dinner with my cousin brother-in-law.  I had a great time seeing him & we planned on doing some amazing seva when he wraps up his worldly life.

I arrived on May 5th at 8pm...I had just missed Gurudev at Satsang.  I felt a little bad, but knew I would see him the next day.  I proceeded to check-in & could not believe my luck.  I eventually, after just a few days, would be living right next door to Gurudev's Kutir.  I was filled with pure joy at the thought of sleeping close to my master.  I had not been assigned a formal internship, so I decided to come up with my own seva project.  For the first few days, I took many photos of our beautiful ashram...about 400 photos in all.  I still can't fully understand my good luck.  I had been able to enter just about every part of the ashram.  There were only a couple of places that I was not able to go to.  I was able to capture the beauty of the Goshala (cow farm) & the Gurukul, two of my favorite places.  In all the years of visiting the ashram, I had only once been able to see the Goshala.  The cows were heavenly & I had never seen cows like them.  They were gigantic and reflected a purity beyond words.  The Gurukul was also very beautiful.  I will share photos soon.  I wondered what my life would have been like if I had started at the Gurukul early on.  I am ever grateful for the life experiences in this lifetime.  I feel like this lifetime's experiences have given me so much depth.

On the second day, my first full day at the ashram, I saw Gurudev.  I felt like we locked eyes & all I could feel was pure joy & love.  His smile is all I need to feel like I have come home.  He spoke a little in English, but mostly in Hindi or other Indian languages.  Nonetheless, I loved just being close to him.

After a few days, I was surfing Facebook & I saw that Kamlesh Ji, a senior Sri Sri Yoga II teacher, posted on Facebook that she needed help.  I quickly commented on her post & said that I could help as I was at the ashram until the end of May.  

Within a day, I was setup as an Ashramite Summer Intern.  I felt great to be doing Gurudev's official work.  Gurudev had even named the event that I would solely be responsible for.  The event is called "The sun never sets on yoga."  I felt some pressure early on with so much ambiguity and so much to do within just a few weeks, but I quickly had success with the operational & tactical setup.  We had the video team, web team, & media / marketing setup within a week.  I also had started reaching out to countries &/ cities by the second week.  By the time I left, we had over 50 cities &/ countries on board.  The goal is 108 cities, but my personal goal as I had to leave early was 50 cities as one of our previous events had 50 countries on their video.

So aside from the internship, I was able to experience many things that left me in awe & wonder...just being close to an enlightened human being is an amazing phenomenon.  I once remember Gurudev saying to go from the gross to the unmanifest, the suttle.  I usually had a craving to meet Gurudev face-to-face & speak with his gross (meaning physical) human body, but this time I felt Gurudev speaking to me in the space, the consciousness.  I have so much to share, but feel like these experiences / glimpses of truth are sacred secrets.  I hope to share these one day with his blessings.

I had one main reason for coming to the Bangalore Ashram in May.  I wanted to celebrate my beloved's birthday with him!  Gurudev just turned 59 & I had never spent his birthday with him physically.  Last year we had an amazing vegan birthday cake which was a replica of the VM building made in Austin by Patti Montella's sister.  The cake was awesome!

I wasn't sure if I would be able to give Gurudev a birthday gift on his birthday.  This would be a dream come true.  I had given Gurudev a Christmas gift in 2013 on Christmas Day in Boone & he opened it in front of everyone.  I felt great that he opened it.  I did have to ask...but on his birthday in the Bangalore Ashram with thousands of people, I had no idea how I would be able to give Gurudev his birthday gift.  I had a small gift bag & two beautifully wrapped chocolates and my business card.  I was excited at the thought of potentially giving this sweet gift to my beloved.  And then it happened...Gurudev was coming by in his Innova & his backseat window was open.  There were tons of people, but I stuck out my hand with the gift near his window & his right hand was waving to people & all of a sudden, his left hand came reaching out of the car & he grabbed the gift from my hands, fulfilling my dream!  I felt wonderful.  I couldn't believe Gurudev had actually taken, my birthday gift to him, on his birthday...I was so happy.  I proceeded to go into the packed amphitheater, Yagnashala.  We had a great time with music, Poojas, Homas, & a very short few words by Gurudev.  I felt great just being in his presence.  We were so lucky to have spent this very special day with him. This was a dream come true for me.

Within the next couple of days, Gurudev was about to fulfil another dream of mine.  I would be doing the Happiness Program directly from Gurudev.  Not only that, I had received an unbelievable special gift.  I would be doing two days of Long Kriyas live with Gurudev.  The long Kriyas were out of this world, a sacred experience that I had never experienced...a sacred secret that I cannot share, but can only express my gratitude towards being there at this time...Gurudev had not taken a Happiness Program live in 20 years. This was truly an amazing experience.  And hearing the way Gurudev teach.  He teaches with so much lightness, joy, & love.  He keeps the knowledge light & playful. He's not serious / strict at all.  He's simply there & present to everyone's questions.  The sessions were very sweet.

After the Happiness program ended, I decided to get committed to enrolling cities & really focus on my summer internship project.  I was struggling with only 5 or 10 cities registered & decided to really focus. What I found was that the pressure was useless & even Gurudev mentioned this during Satsang.  As I went deeper & deeper in my sadhana, I found everything to simply be a happening.  I even completed a 3 day fast.  Usually fasting is a little difficult for me, but being at the ashram with Gurudev made it nearly effortless.  I had finished a three day fast like it was nothing.  Gurudev says to fast on fruit & water, so it's an easier fast.

I can't explain what happened, but all of a sudden, I had the support of so many people.  I started getting many cities committed & the program I was coordinating took off.  The program, "The sun never sets on yoga" had 50 cities signed up within just a couple of week.  I was even assigned a backup, Mayur Ji, who was well connected.  He helped get our web team on board & within a week, we were all set.  I relaxed a little & enjoyed my time & concentrated on my Sandhyavandana.  The Homa felt great each morning & I was able to get into a great routine of waking up at 3am & going to bed around 9pm.  

My days flew by!  I literally had no time.  Between 3am - 9pm each day, time would fly by.  I didn't love this, because I like to have time to read & write & think, but I was so happy doing my Master's work & going deeper in sadhana, that I fully accepted the situation.  I had no desire to even leave the campus (ashram).

So the second to last day came.  I was working on a side seva project to clean up & make our hostel really nice.  We were almost there.  I ran into the BBA student that works for me at Sri Sri University.  He approached me & said that he wanted to work for me, so I said I had just the thing...I believe Gurudev had sent him to me to do my (his) work.  I was so grateful.  He was sweet & dedicated.  He worked well & was able to get our work almost done.  I was quite happy.

The last evening, he was cleaning outside & then came inside to help me pack.  Another one of my buddies also came to help me pack. I was grateful for their help.  As we were wrapping up, the rain had started to slow down & I said that we could maybe see the Guru for a few minutes left of Satsang.  They were willing to join me even though one of them had a major cast.  We wrapped his cast in plastic & decided to trench through the muddy roads & drizzling rain.  I wasn't sure if we would reach in time to see Gurudev, but then it happened.  I walked into Satsang & felt the presence of my love, my SOUL MAsTEr.  I was so happy & all dressed up wearing my finest Kurta.  I left that evening feeling that my heart was completely full, my mind was in bliss, & I had found no other joy greater in this world.  I had found my true love.  There is nothing else.  This is that.  And as he says, "you are that."

I hope to leave you reading this in the present moment & I want to share some beautiful knowledge here from Gurudev.  He says to live by three things:

1.  Clarity in Mind

2.  Purity in Heart

3.  Sincerity in Action

With love & gratitude beyond words, 

Jai Guru Dev,

Navratri in Love

Navratri in Love - Oct 23, 2015

October 11th, 2013 - I had just wrapped up weeks of intensive physiotherapy at Apollo Hospital in Bhubaneshwar.  I would travel 40 minutes each way for an hour and a half of healing.  I was grateful for feeling better, but still felt the discomfort of back pain from being hunched over at a desk for 20 years in school & work.

The day had arrived.  I was so happy to be heading to see my beloved master & guru, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, lovingly called Gurudev.  I quickly called up for a rickshaw, threw my backpack in & headed to the airport.  When I got to the airport, I realized I did not have a gift for my beloved.  I love to take something for him & decided to buy him the highest quality dark chocolate I could find.  After an uneventful flight, I arrived at the Bangalore ashram later that Sunday night after the earlier Satsang.  I checked into a triple non-A/C sharing room in New Vasuki, a very nice dormitory / residence at the ashram.

The next day, we started with yoga & a wonderful long Sudarshan Kriya.  I was elated at being able to eat in our dining hall...I love the sattvic food at the ashram.  My body feels so much happier & healthier with the sattvic food freshly prepared every day.

That morning, during the first day of the International 7 day silence course, also called the Advanced Meditation Program (AMP), I saw my beloved.  I felt immediately elated and so happy just to see him & be in the same space as him.  We had a wonderful day of spiritual ceremonies, meditation, singing, & knowledge.  I slept like a baby that night.

The next day, we all went into silence.  I was so happy that we would be spending all 7 days in the Vishalakshi Mantap (VM) building.  This is the largest mantap in Asia and by far the most beautiful building on campus.  I love the space & energy in the beautiful meditation hall.

I was also so happy to see Swamiji Brahmatej & Dinesh Goudke in our silence course.  They are some of my favorites.  They exude happiness, peace, love, & joy. We had a new silence course teacher from Gujarat who was a complete joy...her laugh & smile were so beautiful.  

From the first day, I decided not to use a blackjack / any back support.  I felt like I was still able to go deep in meditation.  This is my 21st silence course, so I feel like I am about half way to my goal of silence courses equal to my age - a recommendation by Dinesh Ji.

The silence course flew by & I realised I really needed a 10 day silence course and asked if we could offer a 15 / 20 day silence course in the future...I wrote this down in my feedback form after the course ended.  After the course ended, Gurudev offered to meet all of the internationals & I was happy at the chance to potentially give Gurudev his Lindtt dark chocolate.  Towards the end of the session, he was getting up & I ran to the front of the stage and stuck out my hand with my gift bag of chocolate and he looked at me lovingly in the eyes & grabbed the chocolate...I let out a sound of joy & we just smiled at each other as I imagine Krishna smiled at his Gopis.

As I am about to finish my Masters of Arts degree in Naturopathic Medicine & Yogic Sciences in five months, I was finding myself oscillating from the past & future, mainly planning for the future...I had lost the present moment many times.  Luckily, the meditations were deep and I was able to let go of my wandering mind.  After the course had ended, I had a chance to catch up with a dear friend of mine from Texas.  He's 70 years old and has been with TM & Gurudev for over 40 years.  He had some amazing insight to share with me.  I had asked him if he found himself planning a lot & he said, not anymore...he didn't even have the next flight booked.  He said that at 70, he just relaxes in the present moment with a sense of contentment.  He's no longer chasing after desires / concerned with aversions...he's simply feeling & observing each moment as it happens.  He reminded me of what Gurudev says about the present moment being so vast & infinite.  If we are present to this moment, we can observe so much happening right now in this joyous and happy moment vs. dwelling / glorifying the past / worrying about the future.  I also asked him about desire and he mentioned that he also enjoys looking at an attractive woman, but at 70, he simply enjoys the beauty without any feverishness.  I find that with my daily sadhana including two Homas / day in Sandhyavandana, I also experience a simple feeling of "witnessing" beauty without getting caught up in desire for an attractive woman.  I am grateful & humbled by the lack of sexual testosterone driven desire that I struggled with in my twenties & thirties.  I am so grateful for this yogic way of living.

Almost twice a day, I was able to see Gurudev.  I love Navratri because I get to spend so much time in my master's presence.  The only problem I had is that my back was severely aching as I chose to have no back support all day...my back was creating quite a bit of misery in my mind and I was surprised at how many negative thoughts & emotions started coming up in the small mind. I was surprised as intellectually I knew & thought that I could disassociate my mind from the body, but my mind was in tamas (tamsic) from all the body pain...I was in so much pain that I could not meditate during the amazing & beautiful Poojas & Homas.  Luckily, I felt so much love from my Master during this time, that I was ok with not feeling the deep meditations during the Poojas & Homas that I had experienced in previous years.  I was still happy simply feeling his love.  I recently read a knowledge sheet in which Gurudev spoke about not surrendering...he said, instead, just feel the connection with the divine / the master, relax, & let go.  I was surprised at how useful keeping this in mind is.  

I can still remember so many sweet divine tears of gratitude & love.  I love this time when I can simply feel so much love...I believe these sweet tears of gratitude & love are blessings from the divine.  One evening, our silence course teacher shared that the divine longs for these sweet tears.

So I am now 30k feet in the air heading back to Sri Sri University in Cuttack, Odisha.  I am happy that I had the chance to spend this time with my master & am excited about healing my back & getting past this pain.  I look forward to going deeper in my studies, sadhana, seva, & satsang...

With love & gratitude...

Jai Guru Dev,