I had just finished an amazing silence course with Swamiji
Paramtej and Swamiji Brahmatej and I was excited at the thought of my beloved
arriving on August 30th, one day earlier than previously
planned. I was elated at the thought of seeing my guru, my master, my
beloved Gurudev. The past two times Gurudev had visited Sri Sri
University in Cuttack, Odisha, I ended up getting sick right after he left, so
this time I told myself I would do my full sadhana (spiritual practice) and
focus on quality vs. quantity time with my beloved. The first day he
arrived, I was excited about hopefully being able to lock eyes with him and see
his loving smile. I was unable to get through the crowds of people and
decided to take him a gift. I came back to my room and was disappointed
at the fact that I had already given away all the chocolates I had bought for
him. I then looked around in my room and thought about what I could give
my beloved. I had three packets of organic cashews and a gift bag from the
Bangalore ashram. I quickly put the bag of organic cashews together and
put them in the gift bag along with my Art of Living business card. I
wrote my India cell phone number on my US card and hoped that he would one day
call me. I dream of the thought of my master calling me…wouldn’t it be
amazing to have Gurudev call? So that afternoon, I was happy that I was
able to get near his Kutir and past all of the security. As Gurudev is
considered a state guest, there is considerable security internally to the
university and within the state of Odisha. I was honest and the security
guards at first would not let me past the main gate to the administrative block
where Gurudev’s Kutir is. And then all of a sudden, the guard let me
in. I was happy and excited at the thought of being physically close to
my master. I was soon right outside the door of his kutir with many
guests waiting for him to walk out. Within some time, Gurudev walked out
and I called out, “Gurudev” and he looked over at me. I handed him the
gift bag and he said, “Hi, How are you?” with a big smile and those eyes that
simply melt your heart. I smiled and simply said, “wonderful
Gurudev.” He quickly proceeded to walk out and get into his Innova.
As he sped off, I was so happy that I actually had the chance to speak with
him. The first / second time he visited Sri Sri University, I was not
able to speak with him at all. I was ecstatic at my luck in speaking with
him. As he was walking away, I committed to doing a lot of seva while he
was here as I felt so lucky that he had met me on the first day.
That evening, we had a wonderful Satsang (music, singing,
meditation, and knowledge) and I felt so happy. I showed up late as I was
committed to doing seva and my full sadhana every day. I once heard
Gurudev say that the order of spiritual life is sadhana, seva, and then sleep
(6 to 8 hours / day). After meeting these basic requirements /
disciplines to keep the mind, body, and spirit happy, I then feel like time
with my beloved is a gift from the divine. I had a great time helping out
wherever I could in the kitchen / on campus.
The next day, we had a maha-satsang and I was so busy all
day with sadhana and seva that I was barely able to see Gurudev and I even
showed up late to satsang. I was happy to see Gurudev there and I felt
like he was answering questions I had wondered about. He beautifully
spoke about our need to take responsibility in the communities we live
in. He said that we all need to take up some work to better our society.
One thing I often wonder about is, how can I leave this world better than I
found it? That afternoon, I was serving lunch and had hoped that there
would be some desert left over, so that I could enjoy fulfilling my sweet
tooth! I usually just eat one meal a day and have milk for lunch, but
with Gurudev here and so much seva, I thought, why not enjoy a little?
Unfortunately, the desert quickly ran out, but I was happy that I was able to
let our guests enjoy our great Kaivalya cooking.
That evening, while I was in the kitchen doing seva, the
cooks were making this amazing Odiya desert that tastes like Jelabi…I forgot
what it’s called, but it’s sooo delicious. I thought the cooks were
making puris’ and they offered one to me. I couldn’t believe my sweet
tooth’s delight! I had just bit into a craving that made my Samana Vayu
and Manipura chakra smile! They were so kind to offer me a second
piece! Little did I know, the desert was not for everyone, it was just
for our VIP guests and Gurudev. I was amazed at how Gurudev spoiled me
after I had to skip out on lunchtime desert. Gurudev has written in his
Ashtavakra Gita commentary that those who give, will receive even more; but
those who don’t feel that they have and feel lack, will lose even what little
they have. I have seen this happen in reality many times and was grateful
for my Gurudev’s subtle gift.
The next day, we had the convocation ceremony. We had
several very successful people on stage and the chief guest, the Chief Minister
of Odisha. The ceremony was beautiful and I was hoping I would get to see
Gurudev, but felt that I would likely have to sit upstairs with the students
and teachers. To my luck, while I was being asked to sit upstairs,
someone walked up to me, and said that my corporate guest was looking for
me. I proceeded to the ground floor sitting area and found a friend I had
met at Paris Bakery, an MBA that worked at Apple Computers in
Bhubaneshwar. I was happy at my good fortune that he came and was happy
that I was able to sit next to him close to Gurudev. We talked about his
education, career, and life aspirations. He is a passionate corporate
professional and reminded me of my days as a young hyper-ambitious MBA.
My heroes used to be the Michael Dells and the Steve Jobs of the world, but now
I realize my heroes are Gurudev and his close devotees that have opened up to
the field of consciousness. I am awed at how many devotees have been with
Gurudev for 20 or 30 years with so much dedication and inspiration. Their
forbearance is a gift from the divine. Gurudev’s love is so
all-encompassing that it’s no surprise to hear their wonderful and
heart-fulfilling stories.
Towards the end of the day, I started to feel bad at the
fact that I had not been able to spend any more quality time with
Gurudev. That night I felt disconnected and went to bed a little
upset. I did my night-time prayers and went to bed. I woke up in
the same emotional state, feeling upset and temporarily disconnected from my
beloved. I went for my morning walk and returned back for a shower and
sadhana. As I began my sadhana, I started to feel better.
Gurudev often says that lovers want to merge with the
other. They want to know everything about the other and can’t stand any
separation from their partner. Lovers want there to be no distance
between each other. I began to feel this way earlier this morning, and
tears began to flow down my eyes during my sadhana. I felt that I simply
wanted to merge with Gurudev and could not stand any distance between him and
I. I wanted to rip open my chest (metaphorically) and find Gurudev
smiling within my heart center. I want him to be in every cell of my
existence. I simply want to merge with him. I realize there is no
person in this world that can fill this void…he is that and you are that.
When I looked up at my clock, the time read 5:30am, about two hours into my
day, and I felt I had to see him before he left later today. I
intuitively felt Gurudev inviting me for a morning walk and I immediately felt
happier. My low emotional state immediately became lighter and I felt
happier again at the thought of wanting to be physically close and see my
master again.
After breakfast, I found the Veda Boys walking towards
Gurudev’s Kutir and decided to help give them rides to get there quickly.
I always enjoy the company of the Veda Boys and their playful, light-hearted
care-free nature. They are great examples of how to be simple, humble,
honest, pure, and innocent. I believe these are tenants that Gurudev
wants us to live by. As I was with the Veda boys, I saw Ajaya Ji, one of
my best friends on campus and in my class, and he said I could join the Veda
boys to meet Gurudev as he knows I spend a lot of time with the Gurukul and
Veda Boys. The Veda Boys often do great seva projects with me like campus
clean up and we recently even completed a walk-way made from stones.
There are about 25 veda boys in the campus Gurukul and they are all great
kids.
And then it happened, as we were standing outside Gurudev’s
Kutir, Gurudev said that all Odisha teachers could come in to meet
Gurudev. I quickly stood in line and was almost denied getting in past
security, but luckily a dear friend vouched for me being an Odisha based Art of
Living teacher. I was elated at being able to see Gurudev. I went
inside and sat close to Gurudev. I was so happy to see Gurudev. He
invited all the teachers up to receive prasad and I shyly stuck my palm out and
was so delighted to get a Penda (sweet) directly from Gurudev. I was all
smiles and just took a little piece as I wanted to share the rest of the penda
with all of the Veda Boys who were still outside Gurudev’s kutir. I put
the penda in my left palm and touched my Master’s feet, fulfilling another
dream. I had purposely cut all of my finger nails short so that my nails
would not hurt his feet. I gently touched my beloved’s feet fulfilling a
life-long dream. I still can’t believe this happened earlier today…I feel
like the luckiest man alive!
A few seconds later, Swamiji handed me his phone and wanted
me to take photos of him near Gurudev. I took several pics and couldn’t
believe my good fortune at being able to sit close to Gurudev. I would
love to share so much more, but believe these sacred experiences of being close
to your Master are truly sacred secrets. The experience was beyond
words. I simply knew I had come close…I was literally sitting close to my
master. After some time, Gurudev got up to go into his bedroom, and so I
also stood up. As he was walking to his room, he stopped and looked at
me. I smiled and he said, “Are you enjoying?” I said, “Yes Gurudev,
you fulfilled a dream I had…I was able to touch your feet.” I didn’t
realize until now that he was likely referring to the sacred experience he was
giving me. We smiled at each other and he proceeded into his
bedroom. I walked outside and gave small pieces of my remaining prasad to
all of the Veda Boys. I was and am still so happy. I feel that
Gurudev just keeps on fulfilling my dreams…it’s truly a gift to have found my
Guru, my Master, and my Beloved in this life.
As I walked out, I decided to head back home and get my car
so we could possibly head to the airport to see Gurudev off. As I drove
back towards the Kutir, I realized Gurudev was at Shruti Hall in our new
academic building. All of the students were lined up for darshan from
Gurudev. Girin Bhaiya saw Ajaya Ji and I, and he quickly told us to get
in line. We lined up and also found another dear friend and Art of Living
teacher, Kalpita Ji, also my co-teacher during our summer internship.
Gurudev walked around giving darshan (blessings) and gave me a beautiful smile
and loving look. I smiled and just felt him showering his grace and love
on me.
Towards the end of the darshan line, Ajaya Ji recommended we
quickly get up and head towards the door as Gurudev would be leaving soon for
the airport. We loaded up and grabbed a fresher (first year student) and
seva warrior, Pushpat Ji on the way. We headed to the airport in the
typical mad-rush car-chase following Gurudev’s Innova. I was happy we
arrived safely. We had a police escort and were able to park right in
front of the old airport entrance. Gurudev went inside the lounge and
came back out to greet us all. There were maybe 50 of us there. As
he came by, he blessed me with a flower tap on the head and I couldn’t help but
feel his bliss and love. I was so happy! When he saw me again, he
said, “chalo” which means “see you” or “let’s go.” One day, I’m hoping
we’ll travel together and when he says “chalo” he will mean it’s time for us to
go…I don’t know if it will be while I’m alive or if it will be when I meet him
when I depart from this body, but either way, I know I’ll be reunited with my
love. I leave you with tears of gratitude in my eyes. My face is
smiling, my heart is full, and my mind is in bliss. May I leave you
feeling the same way.
With love beyond words,
Jai Guru Dev,
Ritesh
