The Road with no Beginning or End

I walked and walked through the fog and realized that I had to stop and take a picture of what lay in front of me and what lay behind me.  Here is what lay ahead of me:

I then stopped, took a look in front of me and then turned around and wondered what lay behind me:

At this point, I realized that I was on the path...this is such a beautiful path, where we no longer dwell on the past or worry about the future, but rather simply enjoy the present moment...I am only able to see a little bit in front of me, but the view is so beautiful...life is so beautiful.

I realized that I simply have to be present to appreciate the beauty right in front of me.  As is said in Peaceful Warrior, there is so much going on right now...most of the time, we simply miss it...we're either stuck in the past or worrying about the future.  We may not even dwell or worry, but sometimes glorify the past or dream about the future with anticipation or excitement, all the while simply missing the moment...the present!

As I stood there this morning, I realized that we have a choice to see this world as Heaven or Hell.  These worlds, if you will, are all creations of the mind, and we can choose Heaven.  I believe I read something similar in Swami Rama's book, Walking with the Himalayan Masters.  

As I spend more and more time in this program, I am beginning to let go of so much...I am letting go of the need for structure in my life, the desire for intellectual knowledge, the desire to achieve.  I desire now to simply be present and move with contentment.

These paths that I saw this morning also reminded me that we simply don't need to clearly see what lies ahead, but rather just move with faith / Shraddha that what lays ahead is beautiful, is good for us; that what I may choose to compare is the present moment to the past and ask, has life improved...do I move with Santosha / Samadhana.  Santosha meaning contentment, and Samadhana meaning moving with ease...being at ease.

May we all spend time just being or in wonder, not quite knowing what lies ahead / remembering what was in the past.  May we simply be happy and equanimous with this moment.  

The paths this morning seemed so romantic.  The walk felt like a romance of sorts.  This divine romance reminded me that I was not walking alone, but rather was being carried by him.  Though I felt like I was walking, I realized I was being carried in the palm of my divine master, Gurudev.  I cannot put into words how much love emanates from him when I realize that he's not a person, but rather the air I breathe, the water I drink, the ground I walk on, and the fire I witness in my Homa.  He is love...I am love.  We are love...we are that.  I am so grateful for the reminder that he is why I am here...why I am blossoming in love.  I could not imagine this life in any other way.  As a recent video by Alan Watts communicated, we are living our dream.  This is my dream...and it's becoming a beautiful dream come true.  I feel like the luckiest.  

May we see the path in front of us and behind us with a little mystery, romance, and simply abide in the moment. 

With love.  Jai Guru Dev, An Aspiring Yogi

Frustrations at Sri Sri University

We just got back from Navratri break and I'm already getting really frustrated.  I just sent an email to Girin Bhaya, so am feeling better.  I just wonder what I'm doing here.  As I supposed to act / relax?  Am I supposed to be dispassionate about our lack of structure and organization or be passionate about our very own SSU MA Yoga program.  I feel like I likely need to be a little of both, passionate and dispassionate.  I was truly irritated today when I was pulled off stage when the bulk of class wanted to do a guided meditation, but we were told by one of our professors to do Sahaj.  I am unsure of what is the right path.  I think I need to take a break from SSU seva and just be a student.  To my intuition's point, just study and teach, study and teach.  I will no longer attempt to shape our program, rather I'll just be a witness to the course program.  I'll be more passive with the program and more active with teaching Art of Living Happiness and Sri Sri Yoga.  This makes me happy...why dwell on attempting to change something that obviously has no interest in my input?

Love & Jai Guru Dev,

An Aspiring Yogi 

Navratri 2014 with Gurudev – October 2nd, 2014

Just back from the Bangalore Ashram and wanted to share my experiences during Navratri over the past ten days…

Here's a picture attached of our mini-reunion when I bumped into my TTC Buddy on the way to the AOL Spinal Care course!  Note that Nitin Ji didn't even ask if he could have some of my Coconut hair oil ;-)

I was about to leave campus, Sri Sri University, on September 23rd 2014, and was frustrated by the lack of structure and detail in our MA program course syllabus.  I composed an email to our senior AOL faculty regarding an ambiguous syllabus for our yoga program's first semester; and then headed to the airport in our infamous Kalu Bhaya's rickshaw service.  Surprisingly, I was charged a reasonable 350 RS for the trip from campus to Bhubaneswar airport. 

I was tired after days of barely sleeping next door to a loud campus Vishala Cafe and many nights of telling our young students to be quiet at 2:30am or 3:30am in the morning.  I can only empathize with their immaturity as I, twenty years ago, at their age, would sometimes wake up drunk / hung-over somewhere on campus in the US at that hour.  So glad we at least have an alcohol-free and vegetarian sattvic campus.

So on to the airport I went, feeling spoiled by the fact that I was flying to Bangalore while many of our students were making a 24+ hour journey to the Bangalore Ashram via trains and buses.  I told myself I would make the journey next time with our students - Sangachhadhwam - meaning let's move together.

So on I went...I arrived at the Bangalore Ashram right around 7pm, just in time for Satsang.  Instead of checking in, I ran upstairs, dropped off my backpack in my dear friend, Arie's office, and headed to Satsang to see my beloved Gurudev.  I arrived just in time to see my beloved.  I could feel the sattva rising, the happiness within, and the feeling of rejoicing with my master...a feeling that must be felt by a baby when held by a mother.  Getting a smile from Gurudev is for me what breast-milk is to a baby.  I felt completely nourished and so fulfilled by just being in the same space.

After Satsang, I checked in and got settled into my room.  I remember feeling uncomfortable just a year ago when I was at the ashram Aparna residence hall for Sri Sri Yoga Teacher Training Course.  Now, though, I was fine and happy to be home again.  I was surprised by my shift from my "American" standard of living to the freedom associated with no longer needing an umbrella in the rain, a cap in the sun, or hot water / even a shower head in my room.  Though all of this is available at the ashram, I no longer desired / wanted / needed any of these things.  I am reminded of a beautiful story in the book, Living with the Himalayan Masters...I'll share more when I get another copy of the book. 

The next day we started our Navratri Silence course for teachers with Swamiji Bhramatej in Maitri Hall.  We were packed in like sardines and I barely had space for Ardha Matsyendrasana.  I was aching from my postural scoliosis and could not really meditate that day.  I decided to opt for the Vishalakshi Mantap (often referred to as the VM building) silence course for English speakers. The next day was amazing as I had a chair and two cushions.  I wasn't sure if I meditated / slept the second day, but I was happy nonetheless.  

I spent the first few days in silence wondering about moving from "what about me and I, me, or my" to selfless service and the infinite consciousness.  As I write, I still find the prevalent "I" but realize that this self(ish) ego can be quieter as more and more sadhana, satsang, and selfless service / seva is realized.  How can we shift to we / us vs. me / my?  I think the key is belongingness and realising that "I" belong to you & "you" are my Art of Living family, my biological family, my Sri Sri University family, and my human family.   When I think about my spiritual master, I think about how he feels belongingness with the whole world and about how all he wants to do is selflessly serve people and uplift humanity.

By day five of the silence course, I didn't want to come out of silence and was craving another 5 days of silence.  I wonder how 3 weeks of silence with hollow and empty meditations would be...one of these days we’ll hopefully offer a three week silence course program! 

We started day six with amazing Poojas and Homas.  I decided that no matter the cost, I would take all Sankalpas.  I was elated to be in every Sankalpa and also registered for the Spine Care course.  I still found sitting in Sukhasana for hours painful, but found myself going into deep meditations / samadhi.  These Poojas & Homas are so powerful, that even a beginner meditator can drop into a deep state of meditation in the field of sattva / consciousness created by the Vedic Sanskrit chantings.  I feel like these chantings encompass all religions.  I wonder if this amazing experience is how a Christian might feel in church prayers on Christmas Day / a Buddhist at a monastery sitting close to their master, a Muslim in a mosque on the last day of Ramadan, or even an Atheist maybe in nature at the top of Mount Everest.  My sister, an attorney, philosopher and atheist, has taken the Art of Living Happiness program and loved it.  I think she finds some of her greater moments of happiness on Lake Austin either boating / swimming in the lake.  It's amazing to see how quiet my little niece and nephew get when they are boating on Lake Austin...I love them dearly.

By the last day, day ten, I was tired from only sleeping five hours / night and having a sore back from sitting for hours each day.  We had a group breakout session for the internationals that Oct 2nd evening and I was half wanting to skip...I was exhausted from the go-go-go schedule of large group activities all day.  Earlier that day, I hit the onsite Internet cafe and emailed my nephew in Bangalore.  I craved seeing my nephew and cousin-brother and felt relieved at leaving the ashram for a few hours.  I wondered if I was restless / simply wanted to spend some time within my comfort zone as an introvert with just one or two other people vs. ten thousand...so I finalized plans and headed off to Jayanagar, a nearby suburb of Bangalore. 

Then it happened...we had a group breakout session for internationals at 5:30pm and I had a chance to lock eyes with Gurudev and get a smile from him.  That one look made me feel like I had slept for days and had the energy of a thousand elephants...well, maybe one really strong and happy elephant.  I was elated at having the chance to personally hand over a written letter to him from one of my dear classmates.  After our group session with Gurudev, I started walking outside and was grabbed by two of our Sri Sri University students.  They said, wait here, Gurudev's coming.  They said to tell Gurudev we are from Sri Sri University and I agreed hoping to get Gurudev's attention AGAIN!  I couldn't believe it...he saw me and I said “Gurudev, here's the Sri Sri University group” and he said, so lovingly, "ohhh."  I love it when he says "ohhh" with so much love.  He then asked me, "are you happy?" And I said "yes, very happy Gurudev."  I was so happy that I grabbed my fellow classmates and we hugged like we had just beat Pakistan in the world cup finals.  We then proceeded to walk with Gurudev for a little while before he literally took off like a rocket for the massive Satsang awaiting his arrival at 6:30pm or so.  I had never seen Gurudev move so quickly and was awed at how diverse we see our beloved...as still as Kapha can be and as dynamic as Milkha (reference to an amazing Hindi movie).

So off I went to return to the worldly life of seeing my family as I headed away from our heavenly ashram.

Longing to see my beloved again soon...may we aspire to be the unconditional love he lives by.  May we lift the Tamas & Rajas and leave each other in pure Sattva as he leaves us back to our worldly ways to share this joy with others.

In deep gratitude…may I meet you and give unconditional love.  As Gurudev says, may we give and give and give and give love...may love blossom and manifest from within our higher self or the big mind.  May we be his instrument for the music of healing and unconditional divine love.

 
Love & Jai Guru Dev,

An Aspiring Yogi

Random Blog Entry

for the intellect - the truth is there is nothing - nothing exists at the intellect thought level - this is all maya

Love for the heart & soul to soul comm.

This is not the path of denial, but rather realization.  Do not suppress or deny what you desire.  Just realize the futility of your desire.  Realize the smallness of your desires and wake up to the big mind.  Desire for something greater, for greatness itself...Mumukshatva.  Realize desires whether fulfilled / unfulfilled are just desires & have faith that the divine knows what is best for you.  Surrender feverishness, cravings &/ aversions to the divine.  Come back to the truth.  Remember the 2 questions that will be asked...did you love & did you help.  Do not create your own misery through lust, anger, greed, &/ arrogance.

A Few Days at Sri Sri University

A few days at Sri Sri University

August 4th, 2014

I'll start by saying that I am very grateful to be hes re at what I feel like is just the beginning of a university that will house hundreds if not thousands of students in the future.  I can just imagine what the university will be like in another 25 years with many buildings, paved roads, & A/C rooms.  I envision beautiful trees, campus buildings by subject & state of the art high-tech classrooms, kind of like Rice University's business school building.

I've been challenged by my lack of Hindi.  I am going to start studying again & hopefully be conversational within the next couple of years.

Well, enough seva for the day.  I am working on the remodel / make-ready of the SSU yoga hostel...a little ways to go, but will hopefully be done within a few weeks.  We only have a month left.

Love & Jai Guru Dev

Letter to Myself

Dear Ritesh,

Know that you are here at this point in your life for a reason.  You are here to serve & go deeper on the path.  You are done with material life & are now 100% focused on the path.  You are so lucky to have an enlightened master.  You are so lucky to have chosen love over everything else in this world.

Learn the invaluable lesson you learned from JS, a wise 68 year old who spent 20 years full-time with TM & then decided he wanted money.  He even once refused an invite from Gurudev.  He was even told to stop teaching once.

His advice:  stay the course no matter how hungry you get.  Stick it out...this is the way.  

Focus on serving others, giving love, & gaining knowledge.  Remember your three main responsibilities:  1). Parents; 2).  Society; 3). Knowledge.

In every action, see each action as a yogic action.  Ask yourself if your actions & thoughts are that of a yogi / Brahmacharya.  Are you present & giving 100% effort in that moment.  Now now now!  

Remember to think in terms of we, us, & ours; not me, my, or I.  Be selfless, not selfish.  Be of service.  Teach others & you'll grow in knowledge.  Live the knowledge & you'll grow in wisdom.

Do not resist thoughts / get disappointed by them, but rather surrender them to the river of consciousness...remember to simply drop it & surrender when needed.

And stay a strong peaceful warrior.  Remember to put the big mind over everything else.  Remember to be single-pointed with a one track mind on Gurudev, on doing his work & seeking his company.  Remember to focus on Sadhana, seva, smile, & Satsang.  Remember to share the knowledge & teach every opportunity you get.  Focus on the big mind &/ the field of consciousness vs. anything else...not the seers / senior teachers / the sense scenery.

Eat less...stay light & focus on fruits, vegetables, & nuts and stay away from sweets, processed sugar, fried foods, Tamsic foods, rice, & bread / roti / chapati.

Be love & bring many devotees to Gurudev.  

Share knowledge via weekly video nights, hosting courses, sending knowledge via email, calling &/ connecting to people, & being sincere.  Do not dwell / discuss the past socially, but rather take social opportunities to share the knowledge & enthusiasm for what Gurudev's sharing with the world.

Keep doing yoga asanas & aerobic exercises like running, swimming, & sports.  Go for a walk first thing in the am / at sunrise.  Go for another walk / run at sun set.  Take time to be with nature.  

Remember that Mother Earth loves you.  Gravity loves you.  The air loves you.  Your family loves you. Remember to realize that everyone on this planet are your brothers & sisters.  Treat everyone as though they are your dear siblings & always be of selfless service.  Give & give & give love.  Give everything you can for you'll take nothing with you.

Do not dwell on the past / worry about the future.  Every time you think about the future / past, you are robbing yourself of the beautiful present moment!  BE PRESENT.

Take the time to smell the roses & walk slowly, breathe, & sit &/ stand straight with good posture.  When you have good posture, you resonate love & confidence to others.  They will seek your guidance & enroll!

Love you so much...I can't wait for you to find your self hiding in your heart.

Jai Guru Dev,

Your self 7/22/14

Letter to Gurudev & Gratitude Letter on Guru Poornima 2014

Dear Gurudev,

I am so grateful & lucky to be on this path with you as my master, my love, my everything.

I am grateful for the opportunities to teach and volunteer.  I am grateful for Satsang and the time I had with you in India this and last year.

After returning from India in March, I  became overcome with desire & lust.  As a Brahmacharya, I could not resist the thoughts of sex with women.  I realized that becoming a Brahmacharya now was not a happening, but rather a struggle.  Within a month of returning, I ended up letting my energy go.  I decided that I needed a woman / girlfriend.  I shaved my beard & started dating someone within a week.

I am not in love with this woman & would simply prefer to be completely free of this desire, but the only time I feel completely free of desire is when I am with you in the Bangalore Ashram.  

I want to be close to you and be of service in India.  I recently became an Overseas Citizen of India (OCI) and want to be at the Bangalore Ashram with you.

I am willing to do seva at the ashram  / if you prefer, settle in Bangalore & work in the city.  I would be glad to do whatever you say & value your direction more than anything in this life.

I completely surrender to you and realize that I love you more than anything in this world.

Gurudev, I hope to be physically close to you, but will listen to whatever direction you give me.

I feel so lucky to be on this path and wish for others to realize your grace.

Please give me direction so that I can be liberated from these small minded cravings & aversions.  

Gurudev, more than anything, I wish for my body to be your humble abode.  I wish for you to use me be.

I have completed basic Hindi and am now about to start intermediate conversational Hindi.  

May this sense of I give and give and give & realize love blossoming in this field of consciousness.

Love & Jai Guru Dev,

Ritesh Sheth

Austin, TX

April 4th 2014

Guru Poornima Day 07-12-14

Dear Gurudev,

I am so grateful for this past year of growth & love blossoming.  I am so happy to have given Marma treatments, teach the Happiness Program three & 1/4 times & teach Sri Sri Yoga.  I am so grateful to have spent three months with you in India over the past year.  I am also so grateful for getting accepted into the Vedic Wisdom course & Sri Sri Yoga TTC.  I can't believe I've not only been accepted into Sri Sri University, but also have your blessings to move to India.

I feel like in the past year my vasanas have reduced & my happiness has increased.  I still have times of negative thoughts & emotions, but surrender them to pitta imbalance / surrender them to the river of consciousness.  

I also feel like in the past year I completely surrendered to you.  I am finally ready to take whatever direction you give me.  I am completely at your service.

I surrender any thoughts of lust, anger, greed &/ violence to you completely.  I have no idea why any thoughts of negativity arise, but know you'll steer me in the right direction.

Please know that I love you more than anything in this world & have complete faith that you'll take care of me.  I feel spoiled by you & believe I am on the royal path, a Raja Yogi.

In so much gratitude & love,

Ritesh