A Gut Feeling

So I've been overcome with desire and feel that this desire is not for companionship / an emotional connection, but rather, pure lust.  As soon as the feeling leaves the body, no desire for company of the other / their thoughts / emotions is wanted.  How do we alleviate this desire?  I believe this desire is less physiological and more mental.  The mind has so many impressions and holds on to what may be lacking in this material life.  Also, I believe that a space contains impressions.  I also wonder if a lifetime has certain lessons and contains lessons.  How do we overcome this desire?  I am beginning to believe that desire can be overcome in deep Sadhana and service.  The less we think of ourselves, the more we can think of Him and the more we can think about being of service to others.

I also wonder how much of our small minded desire stems from habit.  From the same space day in and day out with the same small mindedness, sometimes I think the mind, body, and spirit need a jolt!  We need to sound the conch as is described by Gurudev in Ch. 1 of the Bhagavad Gita.  So it's time to change the daily habits.  I think by sleeping on the floor & engaging in more Sandhyavandana Pooja, this lust can be alleviated.  I'll follow-up with findings soon.  Love & Jai Guru Dev.

On Desire...Again!

So I've been having trouble letting go of desire / lust / cravings for sex.  I feel completely fulfilled and independent and grateful for the life I have, but I still have desire surface sometimes.  For this reason, I recently shaved a beard I loved.  All for self-gratification / pleasure.  I have been blessed to receive such beautiful knowledge below, but still don't know why this lower desire exists.  I wonder if it's the foods we eat / the impressions from past lives.  

I completely shaved off my beard a few days ago and had a date today.  The lady was so sweet, beautiful and enjoyable to be around...but, I don't see myself with her long term.  She's fit as can be, blonde and blue-eyed.  She would be amazing to be with, but I don't want to hurt her.  I'll be completely honest with her and see where things go.  At this point in my life and spiritual journey, I don't think I could seduce a woman into sex and then tell her that it's not going to work out.  I used to have a bad habit of doing this to women.  This time, I think I'll take the higher road and simply tell her that I am very attracted to her, think she's amazing, but simply don't feel like I could be with her from an emotional / heart-centered / romantically loving space.  I think it's amazing how quickly we can determine if we are going to be able to be emotionally invested or not.  Maybe I'm way too quick to judge.  For now, I'll be completely honest with her before I touch her in any way.  We'll see...today's blog entry and desire to write came based on some beautiful knowledge that a dear friend of mine shared from our beloved Gurudev...

Q: Sometimes I wonder, I have so many unending desires and you keep on fulfilling them. This makes me smile. How to get rid of hankering over desires Gurudev?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You know your desires are getting fulfilled, that is enough. Be busy in fulfilling the desires of others, not your own desires.

See, what is the significance of the Guru Discipline Tradition? It is for the Disciple to realize that desires are endless. ‘Like the waves of the ocean desires keep coming one after the other. That is why I must keep my desires aside and do as per the Guru desires. ’
When you do this then the mind becomes hollow and empty and you start feeling a sense of lightness. Life then moves beyond joy and sorrow, and all craving and aversion automatically disappear.
This is the only way to remove cravings and aversions.

That is why it is said, ‘Na Guror Adhikam, Na Guror Adhikam, Na Guror Adhikam’ (There is nothing greater than Guru, there is nothing greater than Guru, there is nothing greater than Guru because Guru is the embodiment of all that is greatest.)

So leave everything on the Guru, and surrender to the Guru.
Fulfillment cannot be achieved through desires because if one desire is fulfilled another one comes, and if that is fulfilled another one comes. And then the mind keeps wandering between desires. Some desire or another will keep troubling your mind day and night.
Do you know, if there is anything in this world that troubles you, the topmost on the list is your own mind!
I am saying topmost because you do not see this. You feel that someone else is bothering you. You think your mother in law is troubling you, or your daughter-in-law is troubling you, or your wife or husband is troubling you. Keep all that as second on the list.
It is your own mind which is troubling you; there is no other enemy out there. Once you realize this you will understand that it is not the other, all the botherations are of the mind. 

-Sri Sri

A Month at the Bangalore Ashram

Just back from a little over a month at the Bangalore Ashram…I had an amazing time and can’t wait to hopefully go back this Fall.  I received Darshan from Gurudev three times.  Simply amazing.

I arrived on January 29^th and started doing my Netra eye treatments at the Panchakarma Spa and Resort (http://www.srisripanchakarma.org) right next to the Bangalore Ashram.  After just 12 days, my eye sight prescription improved by 1 point.  I went from a -3.5 to a -2.5 power.  The eye doctor there thought I was too old to see any improvement and was so happy when I improved by a point.  The eye treatments and exercises coupled with the Ayurveda café are a treat.  The 12 day treatment was like a vacation.   Seeing Gurudev many evenings at Satsang was a gift.

After one week at Panchakarma, I shifted to the Ashram housing and stayed with 3 roommates including a senior teacher from Argentina.  I feel lucky to have met Ishmael from Argentina.  During this time, I finished up the balance of my 12 day treatments and did Seva in the kitchen.  I loved serving dinner in the kitchen and had the chance to serve some of our North America senior teachers including Pierre, Rajshree Didi, Michael Fischman, and the Frasers.

In early February, I was able to attend the evening events during the International Womens Conference (http://iwc.artofliving.org/).  The events were over the top and I felt like I was at Navratri again.  The conference hosts went all out and had really impressive performances, dinners, speakers, singers, flyers, and décor.  The Womens Conference was so well organized and so well decorated that I felt so proud to be a part of the Art of Living.  I hope many of the women I know will attend next year!

After Panchakarma, I checked into the Sri Sri Ayurveda Hospital (http://www.sscasrh.org/sri-sri-ayurveda-college/ - great video with Gurudev) for 5 days.  I had 4 full days of Ayurvedic treatments to alleviate my back pain.  The physiotherapist there, for the first time in months after many different doctors, accurately diagnosed me with postural scoliosis.  He laid out a plan with exercises to alleviate the postural scoliosis within 6 months.  I was so impressed with the Ayurvedic doctors and staff at the hospital that I setup a meeting with the hospital HOD (Head Of Department).  I am hoping to sponsor some updates to the meditation hall at the hospital.  For the first time in almost a year, my back spasm is completely gone.  The full body in-patient Abhyanga massage, other hot oil Ayurveda back treatments, and daily exercises healed my aching spine.

I had a day to spare and signed up for the Eternity process.  The process is too sacred to share / comment on, but I hope everyone gets the chance to do this lifetimes opening process.  We get to the Eternity process only three times in one lifetime. 

I then convinced my cousin-nephew to join me on an Art of Living Yes+ residential course at the Ashram.  Here’s where is gets GREAT.  The Yes+ teacher let me partly co-teach the course and I led the first Long Kriya process, wrap-up, some knowledge points, and the paper plate process.  I had such a blast and felt like a dream came true that weekend.  I made some great young friends and will hopefully get my other nephew to do Yes+ in the US later this year.  Our Yes+ students had Darshan with Gurudev and I got the chance to give Gurudev my new wooden business card and ask Gurudev to bless my nephew for his university studies in the US.

Next up, I checked in for the Shivatri AMC (Advanced Meditation Course) – Silence Course with Gurudev.  The silence was ok, but seeing Gurudev and doing one to two daily guided meditations with Gurudev everyday was GREAT.  On Shivatri day, after evening Puja (my first Shivatri Sankalpa), Gurudev gave everyone that was at the Ashram Darshan from midnight until 2:30am..I remember reading about how Mikey stayed up all night for Shivatri in Stumbling into Infinity and Gurudev even mentioned the tradition during Satsang.  So I stayed up all night doing seva, meditations and Kriya.  At 5am, we had a Puja and I took my 2^nd Sankalpa during the Puja.  By 8am or so, I was exhausted and hit the sack! J

The last two days of the Shivatri AMC, we did Shakti Kriya and the experience was once again very powerful.  I could barely sleep the 2^nd night and had to rest and skip the afternoon sessions of the silence course.

We finally ended the last evening of March 3^rd with the remaining 2/3 or so of our Silence course getting Darshan with Gurudev in the Vishalakshi Mantap (VM) building (http://www.artofliving.org/bangalore-ashram/vishalakshi-mantap).

I feel so lucky to have met some of our TTC classmates at the Bangalore Ashram during the stay there.  I hope we can all meet in Bangalore for Navratri or Shivatri. 

Feeling grateful and blessed beyond words…

Love & Jai Guru Dev,

An Aspiring Yogi